Health Fanatic by John Cooper Clarke

Around the block – against the clock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Running out of breath – running out of socks Rubber on the road… flippety flop Non-skid agility… chop chop No time to hang about Work out health fanatic… work out! The crack of dawn he’s lifting weights His tell-tale heart reverberates He’s high in polyunsaturates… Low in polysaturates… The Duke of Edinburgh’s award awaits It’s a man’s life He’s a health fanatic… so was his wife A one-man war against decay Enjoys himself the hard way Allows himself a mars a day How old am I – what do I weigh Punch me there… does it hurt… no way Running on the spot don’t get too hot He’s a health fanatic, that’s why not Running through the traffic jam – taking in the lead Hyperactivity keeps him out of bed Deep down he’d like to kick it in the head They’ll regret it when they’re dead There’s more to life than fun He’s a health fanatic – he’s got to run Beans greens and tangerines And low cholestrol margarines His limbs are loose, his teeth are clean He’s a high-octane fresh-air fiend You’ve got to admit he’s keen What can you do but be impressed He’s a health fanatic… give it a rest Shadow boxing – punch the wall One-a-side football… what’s the score… one-all Could have been a copper… too small Could have been a jockey… too tall Knees up, knees up… head the ball Nervous energy makes him tick He’s a health fanatic… he makes you sick